But at the meantime I'm proud to say that I'm slowly overcoming this problem and I see my life in a more positive way now. Thanks to help from friends who help me realize all this and now finally I'll be able to slowly pick up where I left my studies and friends and most importantly life.
Sad to say, I've done some things to hurt myself before (yeap, I was that screwed up) and I'm no proud of it. But definitely I would say I learned from all the things that has happened to me before this and I love the way I am now, loving and accepting all my positive traits and imperfections.
Being 20 do help me realize certain things in life and I'm proud that it happened. (Hahaha yeah making a big fuss about being 20!)
I really don't know how to express myself but all I can say, I think the bubbly and happy-go-lucky Lynzie is coming back. No more tears and fears all the time.
There's this song from the recent American Idol where Jordin Sparks won and it became her first single. The lyrics are great and I think it does portray my current situation. Very inspiring. Take a listen from my page's Random Bits. Here are the lyrics to the songs that I will leave you to ponder on....
"This Is My Now"
by Jordin Sparks
(American Idol 6)
There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.
by Jordin Sparks
(American Idol 6)
There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.
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